I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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