i would punch a child for taco bell
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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