new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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