why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you didnt know i had herpes?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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