bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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