Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
