So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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