I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
