It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
