Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
