He felt like a one man threesome
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
