He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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