Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
