His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
