This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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