i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
false alarm, still single
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