Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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