Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
