But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
