People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.â€
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
