you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize