Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
