I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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