Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
