Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
