Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
