So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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