turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I fill condoms, not promises.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
