shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize