I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just cut my nipple shaving
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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