Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
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