Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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