no, he came in my armpit
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He shit in the fireplace
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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