i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize