Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
