can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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