i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
