I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
