She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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