I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Pants are for mortals
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
