I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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