Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm having to shit out rocks
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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