New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wish i was in the wii world.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
