dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
