so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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