Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She announced her abortion via fbk
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
