walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
