Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
