I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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