you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
