if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
