Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We talked him into tasing himself.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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