i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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