dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
