from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
