Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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