Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
