I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just googled if crying burns calories
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
