Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Come share oat with me in your robe
I supernannyed him into submission
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
