Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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