I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Randomize
