i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
